There is renewed hope every new year as the struggles of the previous year give way to a fresh start. As January 1st strikes, people all over the world join on a journey of change as they make their resolutions for 2024. It is the day gyms are most crowded and the most promises are made. Well, we’re now into February. How are we doing, folks?
Did you know that the second Friday of January is referred to as Quitters’ Day, and that Ditch New Year’s Resolution Day falls on January 17th. We know that the vast majority of people will not keep their resolutions: in fact, a study from Sundried.com found that 43% of people begin the year already anticipating that they will give up by the end of the month. Many people decide to give up altogether, resigned that things cannot and will never change.
In many ways, the phenomenon of New Year’s resolutions reflects the larger process of change we experience as humans. Even though we have a desire to grow, change is hard. It’s hard to begin, and it’s hard to sustain. Sometimes, the pressure and overwhelm associated with stepping out of a comfort zone keeps a person from even thinking about it. But the New Year is upon us.. well, the lunar one that is. Perhaps it’s as good of a reason as any to make some new resolutions. Are you willing try again? If so, here are some tips that may help:
1. Keep it simple. It can be tempting to try to change everything all at once or to engage goals with full abandon, but that often leads to taking actions without the underlying structures to sustain them. It’s like a runner who starts off the block too quickly and begins to fade because they do not have the energy left to finish strong. Instead, focus on smaller increments of change that will challenge you to grow but are still manageable. Gradual steps can build towards greater growth. Bruce Lee once said, “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.” Building depth and not breadth by simplifying goals is a good way to build long-term and sustainable change.
2. Find your meaning. According to Angela Duckworth, a leading expert on grit, one important ingredient for follow-through and perseverance is to identify and focus on your passions. The more an individual action is attached to a larger meaning and desire, the greater the motivation to complete that action. We see this play out all the time. Students grind to achieve a grade at the end of the year. Athletes run wind sprints because every rep gets them closer to the championship. What might be your larger reason to work out, stop drinking, or try something new? Focusing on that can provide continued direction when you run into the dog days of summer.
3. Don’t do it alone. Reaching out to another person can be an incredibly important resource when it comes to follow through. Someone who gives consistent encouragement and accountability can provide a secondary, external source of motivation when internal willpower falters. Furthermore, working with another person offers an opportunity for feedback and reflection that is vital to learning and growth. Not only are there external benefits to reaching out, research has also found sharing goals with another person–particularly someone we hold in high esteem–can actually increase internal motivation as well.
4. Try again… again. Unfortunately, we will all face failure. Research from the University of Scranton found that a whopping 92% of people do not keep their New Year’s resolutions. Just as telling, however, is a study by Norcross and Vangarelli which found that those who successfully kept their resolutions still averaged 14 setbacks over a two-year period. A big part of success is learning what to do with failure. Failure is often thought of as the end of the story and is connected with feelings of incompetence, embarrassment, or rejection. One effective way of overcoming that mindset about failure is to see it as part of the growth process rather than the end result. As Thomas Edison famously said, “I have not failed 10,000 times, I’ve successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work.”
Regardless of where you are with your resolutions, whether you are still going strong, have crashed and burned, or never started to begin with, we hope that this message can be a little bit of encouragement to continue, restart, or begin your journey of change. There is always the next opportunity to try again. There is always a new chance to grow. As the scriptures say, “His mercies are new every morning.” Have at it once more!
This writing was originally posted in an email sent to our mailing list on February 9th, 2024. Please enter your email at the bottom of the page if you would like to sign up to be part of our mailing list.