We are shifting from winter’s two coldest months into February. With Valentine’s Day approaching, we are reminded to warm our hearts with love. These months likely bring more time indoors and more quiet nights, perhaps, bundled up with a blanket in the living room. These quieter times offer an opportunity for reflection on the love that exists in our lives. It is around each of us in abundance. I invite you to take an inventory of all the love present around you.

You may begin with the simple fact that you are unique, and that alone is miraculous. No thumbprint is like yours. You have been formed in a unique way from your mother’s womb. Your birth order forms you. Your urban or rural upbringing influences your worldview. All of these weave together to create your own story. A story that has purpose, meaning. You are here for a reason. Though that reason may not always be clear, your presence makes a difference in the world. Many of my clients in depressive states and those in severe health situations question what the purpose and meaning of suffering is, as well as how to live their life with purpose.

Another client cries in the darkness alone in her retirement home searching for connection with her family who have rejected her. What is the purpose and meaning?

Partners of those addicted to alcohol or drugs which wreak havoc on their finances, mental health, and behaviors begin to wonder what the purpose and meaning is in their relationship; and, without that relationship, where do they look for love?

When all else fails, remember that love is your innate state. It is available to you in all moments. Many religions and philosophies agree that the purpose of this life is to love. Jesus summarizes it all: “Love one another.” St. Augustine says, “love, and do what you want.” Buddhism encourages meditation and deep breathing to be at peace and calm which can guide each step of our journey. There is an unconditional love from a Higher Power available to each one of us. Our “job” is to receive this love and let it work on our human condition so that we can unconditionally love others. Oh, how impossibly possible this is. In a Higher Power, all things are possible. Let us all come home to our own heart and love our own self so that we can give that love to others. Let us make this a better world both inside of ourselves and in our community.

And what if love does not feel available? What if there appears to be more darkness than light? We all have those moments. I suggest a meditative technique of focusing on your breath. Each breath keeps us alive in this moment of NOW. We receive it, we hold it and we express it. A rhythm that becomes so automatic we can almost take for granted. This breathing allows us to move from the past, and holds us into the NOW until we are ready to move into the future. Then we begin the rhythm all over again. We are given this “present” to remind us to be “present.” This invisible reality is our gift, grace, spirit and life.

Go ahead. Take a very slow breath now: receive, hold, and express. Notice how your body changes into the calm energy of life. May our breathing keep us moving through dark and light moments; pain and free movement; hard and soft moments in life.