{"id":1069,"date":"2018-02-26T14:15:00","date_gmt":"2018-02-26T14:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/samaritanps.org\/sandbox-6-30-2018\/?p=1069"},"modified":"2018-05-17T14:15:24","modified_gmt":"2018-05-17T14:15:24","slug":"what-brings-men-to-counseling","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/samaritanps.org\/sandbox-6-30-2018\/news-and-insights\/what-brings-men-to-counseling\/","title":{"rendered":"What Brings Men to Counseling?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Samaritan\u2019s Men Counselors Reflect on the Question<\/strong><\/h3>\n

It may happen in their 30s, 40s, 50s or later.\u00a0 Men who have dealt with everything life has handed them \u2013 those whom Michael Rogers<\/a>, a therapist and formerly the clinical director at Samaritan Center of Puget Sound, describes as \u201ctestosterone-driven fixers\u201d\u2013 find that their defenses are wearing thin.\u00a0 The pressures come at them from all sides.\u00a0 Frustration, depression and anxiety threaten to overwhelm them and their relationships.\u00a0 \u201cAt the point when they can\u2019t outrun their fear,\u201d Michael said, \u201cit\u2019s usually through someone close to them who sees or feels their distress \u2013 a doctor, wife, employer, or friend \u2013 that they come to counseling.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn fact,\u201d said Rob Erickson<\/a>, one of the 12 men who provide counseling at Samaritan, \u201cit\u2019s often the women in their lives who ask them (either lovingly or with some level of hostility) to come to counseling.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gary Steeves<\/a>, Samaritan\u2019s coordinator in South King County, noted that he eventually had to admit that he couldn\u2019t fix himself in the aftermath of an auto accident several years ago.\u00a0 Physical therapy and \u201cdealing with it myself\u201d was only helpful up to a point, he said.\u00a0 \u201cIt was as if I was carrying that traumatic experience around in my body.\u00a0 I was like a block of concrete.\u201d\u00a0 When he finally went to a movement therapist, he said it was transformative.\u00a0 \u201cFirst of all, the roles were reversed.\u00a0 Someone was working with me\u2014not \u2018fixing\u2019 me but, rather, helping me manage those forces within me.\u00a0 I think it is incredibly powerful when we face our limitations and our vulnerability.\u00a0 We can stop carrying the mantle of having to do everything by ourselves.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mar Houglum<\/a>, a pastoral counselor as well as marriage and family therapist, said that he thinks it is \u201ca huge step for men to seek help.\u00a0 They resist the notion that talking with someone who listens in a safe, affirming, empathic way could be helpful.\u00a0 I find that when they take that risk, they find a sense of greater ease with themselves\u2014a generosity with themselves.\u201d<\/p>\n

Michael Rogers notes that there are a number of men\u2019s groups in the area.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve been part of a small men\u2019s group for years,\u201d Michael said, \u201cand I have to tell you that we aren\u2019t nearly as good at self-disclosure as women are.\u00a0 It takes us a long time to get to an authentic level of sharing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cComing into therapy seems to give men \u2018a Walden Pond\u2019,\u201d said Bill Collins<\/a>, who has been with Samaritan as a therapist and supervisor for many years.\u00a0 \u201cIt provides a reflective space where they can take stock of themselves and consider healing possibilities.\u00a0 In The Way of Man<\/em>, Martin Buber notes that Yahweh asks Adam in the garden, \u2018Where are you, Adam?\u2019 not because Yahweh does not know the answer, but because Adam doesn\u2019t know the answer.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Men who have dealt with everything life has handed them \u2013 those \u201ctestosterone-driven fixers\u201d\u2013 find that their defenses can eventually wear thin.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[85,84,89],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1069","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-learning-about-therapy","category-life-stories","category-skills-tools"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9HFgk-hf","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/samaritanps.org\/sandbox-6-30-2018\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1069","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/samaritanps.org\/sandbox-6-30-2018\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/samaritanps.org\/sandbox-6-30-2018\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samaritanps.org\/sandbox-6-30-2018\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samaritanps.org\/sandbox-6-30-2018\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1069"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/samaritanps.org\/sandbox-6-30-2018\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1069\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1070,"href":"https:\/\/samaritanps.org\/sandbox-6-30-2018\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1069\/revisions\/1070"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/samaritanps.org\/sandbox-6-30-2018\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1069"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samaritanps.org\/sandbox-6-30-2018\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1069"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samaritanps.org\/sandbox-6-30-2018\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1069"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}