Four Things K-Pop Demon Hunters Gets Right about Shame and Facing our Inner Demons
By Isaiah Lin, MA, PsyD
The newest streaming craze of 2025 is Netflix’s KPop Demon Hunters. Premiering in late June, the show has now amassed 314 million views making it the most watched film in Netflix history and is being referred to by some as the Frozen of this generation. Praised for its cultural authenticity, vibrant art style, the movie is most greatly powered by its shoulder bopping and vocally expansive music. KPop Demon Hunters has had four songs listed in the top ten of Billboard’s Hot 100 list, including its most popular song, “Golden,” which up to the writing of this article has topped the chart for seven weeks straight. As a therapist, however, the element of the movie that caught my attention was how they addressed the idea of shame or our hidden “demons.” Spoiler alert if you continue reading, but let me highlight four things KPop Demon Hunters gets right about shame and facing our inner demons.
1. The source of shame.
Truthfully, the psychological world is split about how they view shame. Some contend that shame is never a beneficial emotion seeing it as a negative view on the self without any remedy rather than a negative on a circumstance which can be addressed. Others note that shame can be an important element towards building honor, a sense of right and wrong, and societal mutuality, particularly in more collectivistic cultures. Regardless, at its worst, toxic shame can be a very oppressive experience. It can arise both due to a decision or action, or due to a sense of self. In the movie, we see both examples of shame: Jinu, the leader of the band The Saja Boys, who was turned into a demon because of a decision he made negatively affecting his family, and Rumi, the leader of the girl group HUNTR/X who was part demon by birth. Similarly, we see in our world that one can develop shame from actions, thoughts, or feelings, either as a single large event or a repetitive experience. Other times, shame develops due to a fear that a part or aspect of oneself is not acceptable; I’m not good enough, I always fail, nobody could tolerate this part of me. These thoughts can develop from explicit negative feedback or implicit messages, but in either case, the feeling becomes fully formed when the messages are internalized and becomes the way a person understands who they are.
2. Shame makes us hide.
The natural first reaction of toxic shame is to hide. This is particularly prevalent in shame-based cultures where the idea of saving face can be strongly supported within social systems. In the movie, this idea is explicitly stated by Celine, Rumi’s surrogate mother, in her warning, “Our faults and fears must never be seen,” and visualized as Rumi continually wears long sleeves and covers her neck so that others cannot see the patterns that would reveal her demon heritage. Similarly, we don’t want others to see our inner demons because there is a fear that something bad will happen. In therapy, some people can point to a specific negative outcome—“I will be abandoned”, or “I will be judged”—while others describe it as existential terror that is impossible to define— “I will cease to exist.” Others may share parts of their shame but may omit certain parts of the story, highlight less offensive pieces, or slightly shift facts or even portions of the narrative entirely. An example of this is when Jisu is able to confess that his actions lead to the destitution of his family but is not able to share that it was due to his direct decision. Often, these changes manifest from an internal tension between wanting connection or emotional catharsis and fear of revealing the most wounded parts of the self.
3. Hiding shame quiets the demons… for a time and at a cost.
It is true that hiding something shameful can bring temporary relief. The more it is out of the light, the less it can be reacted to by others and eventually it may become out of sight, out of mind even for the person holding the shame. Things may feel normal, and life may feel like it is able to move forward. Unfortunately, this is only a temporary and partial peace. The cost of hiding is that there are always conditions to the quiet. One rule is that things which are reminders of shame cannot be brought up lest the negative voices be rekindled. As a result, the person continually holds a certain amount of anxiety and loses the choice of what they can and cannot engage with; like Rumi, they lose their voice. Another rule is that true relational intimacy is unachievable. Because certain parts of the self are restricted and concealed, one can only partially be in a relationship, never fully. These conditions eventually lead to feelings of being trapped, fatigue, and loneliness, and the perceived sense of peace becomes a heavy net. Furthermore, when the shame is inevitably triggered once again, the person is dragged back down, once again face to face with their old demons.
4. Finding true freedom requires facing our shame and coming to accept truth.
At the climax of the movie, we find Rumi alone, her demon side exposed, HUNTR/X broken up, and the protection against demons destroyed. She returns to her surrogate mother, Celine, who continues to try and cover up the demon within Rumi. Tearfully, Rumi responds, “No more hiding. No more lies. Why can’t you look at me, love me, all of me?!” She then sings the following words:
“I broke into a million pieces, and I can’t go back
But now I’m seeing all the beauty in the broken glass
The scars are part of me, darkness and harmony
My voice without the lies, this is what it sounds like”
The sentiment expressed in this song is the key to defeating shame, namely, being able to see the parts of ourselves that are broken or considered not good enough and accept that they are indeed a part of us. In psychological terms, this idea is called “radical acceptance.” The practice of radical acceptance is the act of being honest regarding what is real about ourselves or a situation without judgement. It does not mean that one likes what they see or that things can’t change, but rather, it is taking a position of being open to where things are now so that things can honestly be addressed and deep change can occur. When a person can find that acceptance, it frees them up because there is nothing to hide; they are able to express themselves fully and genuinely and experience closeness and intimacy with others. It also builds resiliency because they learn they can survive hard things and so know it’s okay to make mistakes in the future. When one can face their shame and accept the truth of reality it gives them back their voice and, perhaps, allows a person to truly show the soul within themselves.